A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

 
Powell's Prostate

Two great posts here and here by Laurence Simon on Colin Powell's prostate cancer surgery. Powell's decision to have surgery is surprising, and in sharp contrast to his usual call for restraint against deadly cancers.

As Simon writes:

What? No Roadmap To Being Cancer-Free? No Genital Accords coming from the cancer-appeasing members of his family, worked out in secret with the insurance company without Colin's approval and then announced publicly? No parlay and negotiations between Colin and the cancerous tumors in his "disputed genital area?" (It's the holiest site of all of orgasm, you know) No continuous six-month waivers for acting upon the deadly tissue, re-upping the lease that the rapidly-spreading malignancy uses to gain a foothold upon the rest of Colin Powell's body? No blaming his own body's white blood cells and T-cells for fighting the cancerous insurgency while killing off the occasional "normal" cell?

His cancerous prostate has been removed. However, it was removed after several hours of negotiations, during which the cancerous prostate refused to relinquish its "Right of Return" to Colin Powell's groin.

The United Nations has overwhelmingly voted in favor of the Right Of Return of Colin Powell's cancerous prostate, and they have designated December 15th as International Solidarity With The Cancerous Cells in Colin Powell's Prostate Day.

Despite extensive paperwork proving such a link exists, Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has denied funding clandestine attempts to reintroduce individual cancer cells into Colin Powell's body for "martyrdom operations" upon his remaining sexual organs.

Concerns are high that several thousand prostate cancer cells (aka "Prostatestinians") managed to escape into Colin Powell's body to prepare an insurgency and "resistance operations." They may attempt to make bloody examples of innocent body tissue and cells to demand the rescinding of the "illegal transfer" of the cancerous prostate.

Rachel Corrie's parents were on-hand in Walter Reed Hospital to show their solidarity for the cancerous prostate. Despite their professional and moral obligations, technicians in the Pathology Labs governing the disposal of medical waste are refusing to allow the cancerous prostate to be disposed of, instead demanding its return into Colin Powell and working hard to foster its malignant growth outside of his body.
posted on 12/15/2003