The Zionist Conspiracy

A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

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Friday, May 26, 2006
Shemiras Halashon

Those of us at The Zionist Conspiracy find the following terms offensive, inappropriate, inaccurate or annoying:

-Ultra-Orthodox (As in: "Yigal Amir, an ultra-Orthodox extremist..."
-East Jerusalem (As in: "Thousands of Jews live in Ramat Eshkol, located in occupied East Jerusalem.")
-Walk-off (As in: "Carlos Beltran's walk-off home run won it for the Mets.")
-Walk-out (As in: "How did you do in court?"
"Awesome. We won the case on a walk-out motion for summary judgment.")
-Peace Process (As in: "The peace process stalled as a result of Ariel Sharon's walk on the Temple Mount.")
-Intifada (As in: "More than 1200 Israelis have been killed since the start of the Palestinian intifada.")
-Died in the war (As in: "My grandfather's parents and baby sister died in the war.")
-Disengagement (As in: "Sharon's disengagement will put Ashkelon within Hamas range.")
-Convergence (As in: "I supported disengagement, but I'm not so sure about convergence.")
-Realignment (Okay when: "I can't believe they charged me $150 for an oil change and a realignment. It's time to find a new mechanic," but not okay when: "I wasn't so sure about convergence, but I think realignment in the West Bank is inevitable.")
-We battled and The guys never quit (As in: "Herm, why did you settle for a 45 yard field goal at the end of the 4th quarter tonight?"
"We battled. The guys never quit. It don't matter why we lost. I'm proud of these guys. Real proud.")
-110 percent - or any percentage above 100 percent (As in: "The only way we can win is if everyone gives 110 percent.")
-Anti-Meshichist (As in: "Outside of Crown Heights, almost everyone is an anti-meshichist.")