Mets Quandary: Elster Hopes Ebb, But Vinny Coming To The Rescue!Throughout the 2006 season, Elster has insisted on viewing the Mets through rose-colored glasses. Billy Wagner blowing saves? Who cares! Pitching staff a mix of 40 year olds, a broken down Pedro Martinez and guys with no business being on a major league field (see Oliver Perez, Jose Lima, Alay Soler, Jeremi Gonzalez)? Why should that matter? Omar Minaya got rid of the starting pitching depth and Willie Randolph refuses to give Aaron Heilman a chance to start? Don't bother Elster with details. Come playoffs Pedro will be ready! Pedro's out for the season? Well, we've got El Duque! And the best bullpen is baseball history! With Darren Oliver, Guillermo Mota and Roberto Hernandez (Omar's trade deadline savior!), Dodgers hitters will be shaking like it's the end of Neila on Yom Kippur!
Finally, now that Hernandez succumbed to an injury while purportedly jogging (one day we'll realize how hilarious that really is), even Elster appears to realize that things are a bit murky, though he still won't admit that the Mets were, as Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah (may he be speedily martyred) would say, weaker than a spider's web all along.
Omar and Willie appear disinclined toward my suggestion that they bring Ron Darling (only 46 years old) down from the broadcast booth, reasoning that Darling is too valuable up there, even though SNY will not be broadcasting any playoff games.
I therefore propose that the Mets quickly call none other than Vinny from Elmont.
That's right, Vinny Testaverde. The Mets can use a power pitcher, and the man has a cannon for an arm. Word is that Vinny has been watching the NFL and today's MLB playoffs from his couch in Long Island. If Omar and Willie are interested, Vinny can start tomorrow night, fill in as the Kansas City Chiefs backup on Sunday, and then be back at Shea for the decisive Game 5, if necessary.
Ya gotta believe.
posted on 10/03/2006
