The Zionist Conspiracy

A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

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Friday, April 13, 2007
NHL Strips 1994 Rangers Of Stanley Cup

The Zionist Conspiracy has learned that the National Hockey League has decided to strip the 1994 Stanley Cup from the New York Rangers.

The move comes 13 years after Rangers players chose "Heave Ho" as their team's slogan.

"There has been much discussion of the effect language like this has on our young people, particularly young women trying to make their way in this society," NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said in announcing the decision. "Over these last 13 years, we have met with leaders of the women's rights movement, who remain deeply hurt by the highly insensitive slogan of the New York Rangers," Bettman explained.

At Madison Square Garden, workers feverishly removed Mark Messier's jersey from the rafters. Messier's previously retired number 11 will now be assigned to forward Marcel Hossa, who had been wearing number 81.

Outside Nassau Coliseum, chants of "1940" could be heard from both Islanders fans seeking to buy tickets to Games 3 and 4 of the Islanders first round playoff series.

The Rangers, who lead their first round series against Atlanta 1-0, have now gone 67 years without winning a Stanley Cup. Many Rangers fans blame Messier for disappointingly failing to lead the team to a championship.