The Zionist Conspiracy

A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

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Monday, October 01, 2007
Mets Shakeup Coaching Staff

FLUSHING, NEW YORK - October 1 - The New York Mets have scheduled an afternoon press conference during which Chief Operating Officer Jeff Wilpon and General Manager Omar Minaya will announce major changes to the team's coaching staff, The Zionist Conspiracy has learned exclusively.

Minaya responded with a terse "no comment. You know what I'm sayin'," to questions about the subject of today's press conference, but according to multiple sources directly involved in the construction of CitiField, the Mets are poised to replace pitching coach Rick Peterson with Baltimore Orioles pitcher Victor Zambrano. In exchange for Zambrano, the Mets will send first base coach Rickey Henderson and outfielder Lastings Milledge to Baltimore. Orioles GM Jim Duquette reluctantly agreed to include Zambrano in the deal after Minaya agreed to part with Milledge.

Henderson's spot will be taken by current third-base coach Sandy Alomar, with Bobby Bonilla slated to replace Alomar at third. The Mets believe Bonilla's card playing skills will adequately replace the void left by Henderson's departure.

Randy Niemann, the Mets rehabilitation pitching coordinator, will rejoin the team as a left-handed middle reliever, while Armando Benitez will take Niemann's role.

The Mets reportedly are also in negotiations with both Julio Franco and Carlos Baerga to take over for Howard Johnson as co-hitting coach. HoJo would then join Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling in the broadcast booth, with Gary Cohen likely to host Cohen's Corner, SNY's new Mets post-game show.

Finally, ex-Mets shortstop Rey Ordonez is coming back to Flushing to head the team's community relations department.