The Zionist Conspiracy

A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

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Monday, October 01, 2007
The Zionist Conspiracy Fundraising Campaign: Willie Randolph Relief Fund

UPDATE - October 2: Thanks for all of the generous contributions. We are still not quite near our goal of $4,250,000, and with the Knicks now organizing a competing campaign to raise no less than $11.6 million (not to mention the same amount to pay the fees of those damn lawyers), the Mets will be retaining Willie for at least part of the 2008 season. But don't fret! Pitchers and catchers will be reporting in just 4 1/2 months and 2008 is sure to be another great season. For the Bobby Valentine-led Chiba Lotte Marines, that is. As for the Mets, well, check your inbox. I don't know about you, but I got a nifty e-mail from Jeff Wilpon. Thanks and shana tova, Jeff!

As some of you may know, the New York Mets are indebted to their manager, William Randolph, in the amount of $4,250,000 for 2008 and 2009.

The Wilpon family has for years been generous to all of us, and now they need our help.

The Mets are in desperate need of a new manager, without which they, and indeed all of New York, will be mocked by our enemies.

That is where you come in.

With your support, Willie Randolph will be paid $4,250,000 and a competent individual will be found to manage the Mets!

Please be generous. Even a thousand dollars can make a difference and help defray the cost of Bobby Valentine's business class ticket for his flight from Tokyo to Queens!

Please direct all payments to my Paypal account.

Please also inquire with your employer about many charitable matching opportunities available in furtherance of this most worthy cause.

Thank you all in advance for your generous support, and let's go Mets!