The Zionist Conspiracy

A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

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Friday, April 04, 2008
A Clash Between Jewish Culture and Orthodox Piety

LAKEWOOD - April 4 - For many of the thousands of residents of Lakewood, New Jersey, learned discussions about the recent catastrophe to hit their pious community have served as a catharsis to the devastating news that they may have had contact with two people who apparently had formerly been residents of a place called "Kansas."

But many in the town were shocked to learn this morning that late last night, a group of rabbis issued an edict banning lashon hora and rechilus.

While a longstanding ban on lashon hora and rechilus had technically been in effect, most agreed that in practice, that ban only applied to efforts to stop gossiping for one hour during the Jewish month of Av. The new ban - called a takana - apparently is applicable even during waking hours.

The ban has inflamed tensions among charedi Jews over how to address the influences of gossip. Rabbi Lipa Pinschutz, editor of the charedi weekly Ted Lo Nee'man lamented: “In all my years, I can’t remember anything that has so shaken the people. Perhaps we were wrong about daas Torah all along.”

In the last hour, debate over the ban has raged on blogs and on the radio, which provide participants the anonymity to challenge their religious leaders. “The rabbis are dictators,” said one writer on the blog Vos Iz Dus. Others defended their spiritual leaders, saying that they were protecting young people. “Our rabbis must know more than we do, what effect lashon hora and rechilus have on our children,” wrote another.

Some critics say the rabbis were manipulated, and one signer, Rabbi Ike Lewis, who would only give his secular name out of concern for his safety, told The Zionist Conspiracy that the rabbis did not verify the claim that the edict had been approved by Israeli rabbis. “Usually we meet together. This time, with time pressing before shabbos, we did not meet together, and maybe it was not the right thing,” he said.

According to Yeshivishe Newsworld, the ban was orchestrated by Rabbi Pinchas Alou, who, it reports, claims to be "an Orthodox Rabbi that has to serve in a Conservative Congregation with Reform members."

Along with the stunning revelation that "Rabbi" Alou himself has actually lived in "Kansas", Yeshivishe Newsworld has declared that "it is obvious that the ban is not kosher" and that "we and our readers may continue to enjoy spreading lashon hora and rechilus - except between 4:00 A.M. and 5:00 A.M. on erev Tisha B'Av."

Rabbi Alou, who is reportedly recovering from surgery to repair a hernia, could not be reached for comment.