The Zionist Conspiracy

A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

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Tuesday, April 08, 2008
More On Kansas

Sources have informed The Zionist Conspiracy that Lipa Pinschutz, Vos Iz Dus, and Yeshivishe Newsworld are each preparing stunning new reports about "Kansas."

The latest buzz is that "Kansas" has won the NCAA basketball tournament. Initially, it was widely assumed that Memphis had won the college championship, but Vos Iz Dus has now confirmed with a famous sports figure in Memphis who used to live in New Jersey that "Kansas" actually won. In his upcoming article, Lipa Pinschutz is expected to explosively contend that the 'Kansas" victory was so sudden "as if blown in by a tornado." And as Rabbi Pinschutz notes, the mother of B. Hussein Obama was from "Kansas" making it clear that the mysterious redneck has been closely involved in the Memphis-"Kansas" fiasco.

Memphis, of course, is a place in the South that used to have lots of frum Yidden, and still has a few, though perhaps not frum enough to serve as a dayan on a beis din.

Earlier rumors that the New York Yankees are currently playing in "Kansas" proved to be premature. The Yankees are in fact playing in Kansas City, Missouri, which is not in the State of "Kansas." While Missouri is not a well known place, the city of St. Louis, which many have heard of, is actually in Missouri. I indeed, have actually been to St. Louis and can attest that there are Jewish people there, that it is uncomfortably hot and humid during the summer, and that there even is a professional baseball team there that did terrible things in 2006 that should not be spoken of.