The Zionist Conspiracy

A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

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Sunday, July 06, 2008
Rants Of The Week

1. A family who made aliyah from Baltimore were fortunate to survive last week's bulldozer terror attack in Jerusalem.

That's great, and certainly they should offer thanks to God for their good fortune. As the father said, "For reasons unknown to us Hashem did not let him kill us."

Unfortunately, he then speculated as to the unknown reason for why his family was not killed:

Eissenstat believes he and his family might have merited being saved as a result of their donations to the Chabad Terror Victims Project.

"Last year [at] this time we were visiting terrorist victims in Sderot," he said.

Rabbi Menachem Kutner, head of the Chabad project, said he was certain the Eissenstats' salvation was in part a result of their charity to terror victims.

"Eissenstat and his family were unique donors," Kutner said. "They did not just write a check and send it, they themselves visited the terrorist victims. They involved themselves, using their feet to walk from victim to victim and their hands to comfort the injured.

"Because they used their bodies to perform the mitzva of visiting the sick, Hashem protected their bodies from the terrorist."

This is very insensitive toward those who were murdered and their survivors.

2. The shul at which I daven on shabbos morning includes the prayer for Israel's missing soldiers.

Yesterday, prior to the recitation of the prayer, it was announced that Eldad Regev and Ehud Goldwasser were now being removed from the list of missing soldiers.

I found the removal - and especially the announcement - to be disgraceful. Neither soldier has been declared dead, and whatever intelligence information Israel has presumably has not been provided to the shul. Who exactly will be offended by including Regev and Goldwasser in the prayer for a few more weeks, until the prisoner exchange is completed?

I complained to the people around me, but nobody else seemed to think there was anything wrong with the conspicuous announcement and the removal.

3. Today's New York Times put to rest any remaining doubt as to whether Bobby Valentine would return to the Mets.

Bobby V's father-in-law, ex-Dodger Ralph Branca, told the Times that "Valentine would take the Mets job if it were offered to him."

Our friends in the South cannot be faulted for insisting otherwise; after all, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution still blames Richard Jewell for the 1996 Summer Olympics bombing.

4. The Nets appear ready to give Nenad Kristic away. That's stupid and shortsighted, especially with Kristic's value artificially low following his serious knee injury.

5. During spring training, I wrote: "The Mets should have signed Kyle Lohse to be their number 5 starter."

I was wrong. Lohse would have been the Mets' number 1 starter.

6. I'm okay with all of the Rangers moves with the exception of their refusal to sign Sean Avery.

Many athletes wilt under the pressure of playing in New York. Avery loved it here and thrived with the Rangers. The decision to let him go has more to do with Glen Sather's ego than with Avery's contribution and unique value to the Rangers.

Avery's tenure with the Rangers was very short, but he will always be remembered fondly in New York.