The Zionist Conspiracy |
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A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews. 
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Calm Before The Storms UPDATE: 4:20 P.M.: 15 minutes after this post went up, the Mets and Twins have agreed to terms on a trade for Johan Santana. UPDATE 2: 5:20 P.M.: I have purchased a Mets Sunday ticket plan. I must be excited about the Santana trade. Even without the excitement and controversy of Orthodox vacation week, alot's going on. The final Winograd report will be released tomorrow, the Johan Santana saga appears near the end, the presidential primaries remain tight, Jason Kidd has finally admitted that he wants out of New Jersey, there's a big football game scheduled for Sunday evening, and The Jewish Press is set to publish an explosive front page piece asking whether observant Jews should be sports fans, and if so, whether it is muttar to be a Jets fan. Speculation is probably a waste of time, so I'll speculate just a little: -Winograd will be more harsh than recent media leaks suggest. -Kidd will make himself more and more of a nuisance. He will be traded but won't win a championship. -The Mets will give up more than expected for Santana, and after he signs a six-year $132 million extension, Omar Minaya will have little payroll flexibility and the Mets will still be stuck with the same manager and bullpen. -It will ultimately be Obama and McCain. -In Woodmere, MoC will be feted for his thoughtful approach to the role of sports. -In Atlanta and Baltimore, Jews will celebrate the inclusion of their favorite sons in a Jewish weekly published in New York. -In Brooklyn, G-d fearing yeshiva students will demand that an article about sports be retracted, lest it lead them to improper temptations. They will be told, "this is not B'nei Brak." A letter calling for the boycott of a blog with the word "Zionist" in it will be released in Hebrew, and translated into a grammatically-challenged form of English. Yated readers will express their outrage. -Patriots 31 Giants 20. Friday, January 25, 2008
Football Fans Gone Wild Those of us worried that disgraceful conduct at football games is unique to Jets fans can take heart in Bryant Gumbel's fine television report demonstrating that coarse, obnoxious, drunken and sometimes violent behavior by fans permeates throughout the NFL. In one sickening example, a man drove home drunk from a Dolphins game and crashed into a car, killing a young father and his two year old daughter. Not everyone - indeed not most - who attend football games fall into this category, and obnoxious drunks can also be spotted at baseball, basketball and hockey games (though I haven't seen too many at the U.S. Open). But football games seem to bring out a particularly bad element of people who take being a drunk more seriously than the game that is being played. Many spend hours drinking during pre-game tailgate parties, and then spend much of the game waiting on line to buy more beer. One thing that I found nonsensical was the notion presented by the NFL that they cannot stop people from getting drunk at tailgate parties. If private ticket sales are (baselessly) banned on stadium grounds, why can't possession of alcohol in stadium parking lots be prohibited? Of course, just as people find a way to buy and sell tickets, some will find a way to drink. But a ban will surely reduce the amount of alcohol consumed prior to the game, and serve as a disincentive for those who are bigger fans of drinking than football from coming to games altogether. Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Week 20 1. Congratulations to the Giants on another fine performance. Bad job by Brett Favre forcing pass after pass, and bad playcalling by the Packers when they gave up on the run game after the first half. I also didn't understand why Green Bay didn't call timeout before Lawrence Tynes' overtime field goal. Tynes is extremely lucky to have had a third chance. He was all set to be the Giants' version of Doug Brien - and Brien's misses were from 43 and 47 yards, not from 36 yards. 2. The Chargers defense played the best anyone has this season against the Patriots, but their injuries on offense and their offense's settling for three short field goals wasted that effort. Phillip Rivers deserves a huge amount of credit for undergoing minor surgery on a torn ACL (he'll now need major surgery) and playing. That said, the Chargers probably would have been better off with a healthy Billy Volek. The guts displayed by Rivers is another reminder of John Abraham's gutless refusal to play during the 2004 playoffs. Last I heard, Abraham was the missing piece to the Falcons' Super Bowl run. Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Shas Daas Torah Many charedim do not read newspapers, listen to the radio or watch TV, which perhaps explains a report in today's Haaretz that: Employment, Trade and Industry Minister Eli Yishai telephoned Minister for In other news, if the Jets are eliminated from Super Bowl contention, I will cancel my season ickets immediately. Monday, January 14, 2008
Week 19 The worst coach in pro football history (other than Rich Kotite) [is] Norv Turner. -MoC, November 19, 2007. Football is so much more enjoyable when the Jets are not playing. The Packers vs. Seahawks game was the least competitive, but what I liked about it was that despite the snow, the Packers continued to play aggressively on offense. Most teams play a super-conservative offense in poor weather conditions (see Steelers vs. Dolphins). Throughout the game, my three year old son implored me to play with him in the snow. I assured that where we live it would snow tomorrow night (i.e. last night) and that we would play in the snow then. Jacksonville vs. New England was enjoyable to watch but ultimately frustrating. The Jags blew a few good opportunities and fell short despite an excellent performance by David Garrard. Both of yesterday's games were fantastic. Unfortunately, the Colts' loss strongly reduces hope of a Patriots loss. A banged up Chargers team has very little chance in New England. I couldn't help but root for San Diego despite that. The Giants' late 2nd quarter drive was the best of Eli Manning's career. For some reason, the Cowboys offense completely stalled after that. The Cowboys and Colts looked sleepy, like the Bucs did last week. The recent practice of playoff-bound teams shutting things down late in the season appears to me to be a terrible idea. Overall, this past NFL weekend epitomized what is great about sports. Weren't we just hearing about how Wade Phillips proved Bill Parcells to be a has-been, how Tom Coughlin and Norv Turner could not coach, how Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy erased all doubts about their playoff performances, and how Eli Manning couldn't get it done in the clutch? Thursday, January 10, 2008
Say No To Johan It appears that momentum is growing in favor of a Mets trade of all of their remaining prospects for Twins ace Johan Santana. Santana is among the best pitchers in baseball, possibly the best. But I do not think the Mets can trade their top four or five prospects for him. There are two reasons for my negative stance. The first is that Fred Wilpon is not George Steinbrenner. He operates on a strict budget. Once the Mets give Santana more than $20 million per season, how will the Mets afford to keep or replace Pedro Martinez, Orlando Hernandez or Oliver Perez, all three of whom are free agents next offseason? What will happen if injuries (can anyone say Luis Castillo, Moises Alou, Pedro, Billy Wagner, or El Duque) require the Mets to add a player (or multiple players) - and payroll - late next season? Where will the money and the prospects come from? All of that said, the Mets have won two World Series in their 46 seasons. If trading all of their prospects for Santana would deliver a World Series victory in 2008 - before it becomes necessary to replace Pedro, Perez and El Duque - I would be all for it. Which leads to my second reason for opposing a Santana trade. With Santana as their ace, the Mets would seem to be a real contender in '08. But I still would not like their chances. Not with Willie Randolph managing them. I am afraid that the man who botched the 2006 NLCS and the 2007 NL East race would do enough stupid things during the pressure-packed postseason to once again snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Therefore, I must oppose a trade for Johan Santana, who otherwise would be a perfect fit for the Mets. The New Messiah Speaks "My whole motorcade of a mere 45 cars was able to make it through without being stopped. I'm not so sure that's what happens to the average person. I can understand why Palestinians would be frustrated driving through checkpoints." -George W. Bush, January 10, 2008. Am I the only observant Jew in America who cares more about Israel than about extolling the virtues of our President? Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Bush In Jerusalem Good luck to all those stuck in Jerusalem during President Bush's visit this week. I am surprised that the IDF is closing off Judea and Samaria from Jerusalem. Doesn't the Bush Administration favor removing all of the roadblocks and allowing Palestinians to move around freely? I think the visit by Bush and Condi Rice would be a great time to provide confidence-boosting measures to Israel's eastern neighbors. For a little while I was a bit annoyed about all this Israel bashing by our executive branch, but that's just because I'd been so busy that I missed out on the latest important religious developments. Now I've learned that many Orthodox rabbis and lay readers have apparently converted to the religion known as Republicanism, and therefore would never say a bad word about Our Lord and Savior George W. Bush. Indeed, the ways of President Bush are mysterious, but we all know how much he loves us. Perhaps almost as much as he loves our soldiers in Iraq and in Walter Reed Hospital. It's also reassuring to know that the same folks who succeeded so well in preventing Oslo and the destruction of the Gaza communities are now leading the way against Annapolis. Speaking of Gaza, we should all be proud of our heroic support of the ex-residents of Gush Katif. It's always great to visit them in their new trailer parks. With the help of Ehud, W, Tzipi and Condi, it won't be long before those trailer parks are filled with the voices of lots more Jews, kein yirbu. Lonely enemies of peace and right-wing Jewish fanaticism like me have little to do but hope that the Winograd Commission soon puts an end to the Olmert government, and that January 20, 2009 arrives before Bush and Rice permanently render Jerusalem as uninhabitable as it will be this week. In the meantime, the NFL playoffs, Willie Randolph, Chad Pennington and Isiah Thomas will help us pass the time. And the Rangers are back home and Jaromir Jagr just scored! UPDATE: Things are not going so well at MSG. Sports is indeed a waste of time. Roger Clemens I have long disliked Roger Clemens, whom I have viewed as an arrogant bully. I had been hoping that Clemens would be named in the Mitchell Report, and was pleased when he was. Now, however, I must cringe when watching Clemens. While it is possible that Clemens is telling the truth, it strikes me as much more likely that he is lying. If indeed Clemens is lying, he is self-destructing. If he lies before Congress next week, he may find himself wasting a year or two of his life in prison. I hate to see anybody self-destruct, even arrogant bullies. If Roger Clemens really used steroids, I hope his lawyers and his family help him to come to his senses and confess to the truth. Thursday, January 03, 2008
Sports and Judaism IV I will be writing a column for The Jewish Press on sports and Judaism. It's slated for the weekend of Super Bowl Sunday. Anyone have any ideas for the piece? | "
