A clandestine undertaking on behalf of Israel, the Jets and the Jews.

 





posted on 4/30/2008

 








posted on 4/30/2008

 
Sports Vent

1. Five goals on 17 shots? Five goals twice in three games?

The Rangers defense is a major culprit, but Henrik Lundqvist and Vezina Trophy don't belong in the same sentence. Unless, of course, the Vezina is based on salary.

Alas, my pre-season prediction that the Rangers would again lose in the second round was correct, as was my contention that Brendan Shanahan is done and should not have been brought back for 2007-08.

Despite the Rangers' failure to improve after spending $19 million for this season alone on Shanahan, Chris Drury and Scott Gomez, Elster will presumably continue to argue that Drury was a brilliant signing and gush over Drury's four points in eight playoff games. While I initially praised the Drury and Gomez signings, it became apparent pretty quickly that Gomez, while a good player, is not a star, and that Drury was lost in the offensive zone most of the season. Hopefully this will prove to be just an off year for Drury; otherwise Drury will wasting huge cap space for years to come.

Finally, what an idiotic penalty late in the 2nd tonight by Ryan Hollweg. I'm mystified as to why Hollweg is not only on the team, but actually plays almost every game.

2. In his first eight seasons, Jason Kidd made it past the first round once. In six seasons with the Nets, he made it past the first round five times. Those include two appearances in the NBA Finals, after which he ordered the firing of Byron Scott. It was most appropriate that Kidd's fall came against Scott's new team on the day Scott was named NBA Coach of the Year. Of course, the Nets are left without Kidd, without Scott and with clueless Lawrence Frank.

3. I wonder whether Willie Randolph is going to chew out Johan Santana for failing to get out of the 6th inning tonight. Billy Wagner just blew the save, with help from yet another error by Jose Reyes.

4. Okay, so Larry Brown is back for the ninth time. Pat Riley has retired for the third time. And along these lines...

THIS JUST IN: ELSTER HAS AGAIN DECLARED, "I NO LONGER LIKE HOCKEY." THE ZIONIST CONSPIRACY IS REASSIGNING ALL OF ITS MEMBERS FROM THE TED FLOYD STORY AND WILL PROVIDE FULL AND EXTENSIVE COVERAGE ON THIS DEVELOPING STORY.
posted on 4/29/2008

 








posted on 4/29/2008

 
Manager Of The 2009 New York Yankees






posted on 4/29/2008

 


posted on 4/29/2008

 
Jets Draft Preview

1. Much of the talk is about whether the Jets will draft Darren McFadden or Vernon Gholston, but while I'd be okay with either, it's likely that both will be gone by the time the Jets pick sixth. In particular, the Raiders will likely pick McFadden fourth, and unless Chris Long falls, it's hard to see the Chiefs passing on Gholston after trading Jared Allen.

Then the question is whether the Jets would pick Matt Ryan, the top ranked QB in the draft.

The Jets could use a top QB, but it's not clear whether Ryan is one. I haven't seen him play enough to have an informed opinion, but the scouting reports give me some pause. They cite Ryan's poise, leadership, accuracy, intelligence and guts. They also note that he doesn't have the strongest arm and therefore doesn't offer the best vertical passing game, while again reminding us of his ability to spread the ball to different receivers and move the chains.

The scouting reports on Ryan, in other words, sounds a lot like those for Chad Pennington. Unless the Jets think Ryan is much better than Pennington, they should pass, since they already have Pennington, as well as Kellen Clemens.

2. After using three picks to move up and draft him in 2003, the Jets apparently only got a conditional 2009 pick for DeWayne Robertson. The Jets didn't get much more for 2004 first rounder Jonathan Vilma. 2002 first round bust Bryan Thomas remains on the team for now. Fortunately, in 2005 the Jets did not even bother with a 1st rounder, instead sending it to the Raiders for Doug Jolley and the second rounder used to draft Mike Nugent.

Perhaps in a couple of years the Jets will trade D'Brickashaw Ferguson for a sixth round pick, and, as with Robertson, receive strong praise for clearing salary cap space.

One idea for tomorrow's pick might be just trading it now for a conditional fifth round pick in 2010. That way the Jets can (1) avoid being disappointed by another high first round bust (see also, Jones, Lam; Thomas, Blair); (2) avoid using any cap space at all; and (3) look to acquire another late round steal like retired RB and former sixth rounder Cedric Houston.
posted on 4/25/2008

 
Pre-Pesach Musings

1. I just remembered that I never did get Intellivision for my afikoman. If I still don't get one this year, I'll just have to buy it myself.

2. Today's Post quotes Mets second baseman Luis Castillo as saying, "When I play three or four games in a row, maybe I can get a day off. I'm going to talk to Willie about it."

Castillo, a Willie type of guy, is fitting in perfectly with the Mets.

3. Gary Carter's new book will be released tomorrow. I'll probably read it eventually, but based on a quick peruse on Amazon, it doesn't seem to break much new grounds about the Mets.

4. At a Bar Ilan University program today, Likud leader Binyamin Netanyahu stated that public opinion among Americans became more favorable to Israel following 9/11. Haaretz responded with this absurdly sensationalist headline: "Report: Netanyahu says 9/11 terror attacks good for Israel".

Haaretz did not have a reporter covering the event, which is not surprising, since Haaretz is first an outlet for Israeli elites to express their opinion to foreigners, and an Israeli newspaper secondarily.

5. My son would not go to sleep, as a result of which I was up very late watching some of the latest episode of Bill Maher's program, including his interview of Richard Dawkins.

There were two interesting aspects to the interview. First, that Maher grossly misrepresented the theological beliefs of scientist Francis Collins. Second, that Dawkins, who was raised Anglican, appears to have a lot more respect for those who believe in Christianity's claims about Jesus than for those who take Genesis literally. In other words, even Dawkins, who purportedly has renounced his own religious upbringing, finds the claims of his own former religion less implausible than what he perceives to be those of other religions.
posted on 4/16/2008

 
Jimmy Carter, Self Respect and the Distinction Among Murderers

Contrary to today's editorial in Haaretz, Israel's shunning of Jimmy Carter is a rare and welcome moment of self respect and independence by Israel.

Six years ago today, American Jews similarly demonstrated self respect and independence, when we rallied for Israel on Capitol Hill. Our "leaders" who organized that rally apparently thought it should resemble a quiet shul sermon and presented one lecture after another from various political hacks, relegating the terror victims and their survivors to the very end of the program. But even that could not override the fact that hundreds of thousands of people came to Washington on a Monday shortly after Pesach, insisting, with success, that the Bush Administration cease making distinctions - as it routinely did then - betweeen Arab terror against Americans and Arab terror against Israelis. And among the charedim, scores came to Washington even as the "gedoilim" hemmed and hawed as to whether the rally was appropriate.

On the way home from the rally, we got the good news that Israel had finally captured leading Fatah terrorist Marwan Barghouti.

Six years later, Labor and Kadima hacks are fighting over which most wants to release Barghouti from prison. The Bush Administration and Israel's government apparently agree that occasional outbreaks of Fatah terror are okay since Fatah must maintain the respect of the street, that rockets on Sderot are not really terror, and that only Hamas terror from Ashkelon and northward are to be condemned.

In this context, the otherwise appropriate shunning of Carter is rendered absurd. The moral outrage over Carter's meeting with leading Hamas murderers is completely illogical in the face of Israel's own red carpet treatment for Fatah murderers.

Haaretz and Carter are, at least, consistent in their political support for Palestinian murderers of all kinds.
posted on 4/15/2008

 
Willie Watch

1. How much time will Willie Randolph be given to get the Mets on track? If it were up to me, Randolph would get no more than 50 games, but I expect GM Omar Minaya to give him most or all of the season. That way, Minaya would try to save his own job by shifting the blame to Randolph at season's end.

Indeed, Minaya has still avoided criticism for releasing Ruben Gotay (blamed on Willie) and for again failing to improve the bullpen.

2. Speaking of Minaya, Brian Bannister, whom Omar could not wait to get rid of, is now 3-0 with an 0.86 ERA after his complete game victory yesterday. Of course, Elster assures us that this does not count because the (7-5) "Kansas" City Royals are not a good team like the (5-6) Mets.

Perhaps one days a Mets starter will pitch a complete game.

Meanwhile, Heath Bell - another Omar castoff - has a 1.04 ERA through 8.2 innings in relief as the Padres 8th inning setup man. That's nearly as good as Aaron (6.23 ERA) Heilman.

3. Prior to yesterday's game, which I had the misfortune of attending, I felt like a kid peaking out of the 7 train to peer out at Citi Field. Between the new stadium and the new Kosher Subway on Jewel Avenue, Queens has not had this much anticipation since it hosted the World's Fair.

4. On Friday someone in Genoa, Italy found this site via the following Google search (in bold):

is the jews community yankees or mets?

I cannot express how infuriated I was - and still am - by this search.

Why would "the Jews community" be for either the Yankees or Mets? Do all Jews live in the New York area?

Of course not. There are Jews in lots of places, even "Kansas." Indeed, there is even a New York-phobic Jewish community in Baltimore that is so frightened by the prospect of being engulfed by New York Jews that they have decided to welcome gangs and individual violent criminals into their neighborhoods.

Unfortunately, Baltimore's high crime rate has failed to dissuade New Yorkers from moving there. Apparently, some New Yorkers remain nostalgic for the good old days and thus feel quite at home in middle of the Baltimore crossfire.
posted on 4/14/2008

 
Jews and Christians

1. Eric Yoffie, president of the Union for Reform Judaism, insists that Jews do not work with pro-Israel evangelical Christians because of political and theological differences.

The same Eric Yoffie who treats pro-Israel Christians with such disdain and rejection did not hesitate to meet with and speak before Presbyterian Christians calling for divestment from Israel. Then, Yoffie tried to explain to his friends that Israel really, really wants to end the "occupation."

Our theological dispute with the Reform movement is intractable. But there was a time when those deemed American Jewish leaders acted in a manner that put Israel ahead of their own politics. That time is gone, at least for the Reform.

2. Why in hell are there Jews kvetching and begging the Catholic Church to change some prayer about Jews that is recited on Good Friday?

The prayer is not exactly pro-Jewish. I suppose it might even be offensive to Jews, though I doubt many care at all.

But if someone is offended, the appropriate reaction is, at most, to point out the continued intolerance of the Catholic Church. Calling for the Vatican to change this prayer and engaging in discussion and negotiation about this is pathetic. Jews who are so insecure and obsessive about Catholic prayers should find other things to keep busy. They can beg the Presbyterians to pledge some money to the New Israel Fund, start a blog, or get to the bottom of the Levy/Floyd matter.
posted on 4/11/2008

 
Banned By The Jewish Press

EMPLOYER: There's just no way that we could keep you on.

KRAMER: I don't even really work here!

EMPLOYER: That's what makes this so difficult.

Following my posting yesterday of the Jewish Literacy Test, Jason Maoz of The Jewish Press e-mailed me last night to say that "I've been told to tell you you're no longer welcome to write for the paper."

The offending item was of course Question 4, which asked: "About which newspaper did numerous rabbinical authorities proclaim that it may not be read outside of the bathroom?"

Explanation ruins satire, but since some people obviously just didn't get it...

Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz's call - in the wake of the Netan Levy matter - for people to ask questions to those in their community about their background inspired me to write the Jewish Literacy Test, a satirical look at some of the absurd practices and urban legends of the Orthodox community.

Among others, none of the Beastie Boys really went to MTA, Phil Collins never demanded that "dogs and Jews" leave his concert, and all of Teddy Kollek's children did not become frum. It's also highly unlikely that any revered rabbi was ever actually asked whether it is permissible to read The Jewish Press in the bathroom, and even less likely that any rabbi then responded, "the real question is whether you can read it outside of the bathroom."

Nevertheless, these stories are part of Orthodox lore, and that - along with the fact that an impostor would be clueless about all these unique absurdities - is what The Jewish Literacy Test was skewering.

As for the end to my writing in the Jewish Press: Since my second child was born in December 2006 I've had very little time to write and I think my byline has only appeared in the Jewish Press two or three times since then.

I appreciated having a forum to express ideas and thoughts that were important to me. Recently I had a chance to seriously consider Sports and the Orthodox Jewish Fan in a front/back page piece. In November 2005, I was provided that space to reflect on the tenth anniversary of the murder of Prime Minister Rabin. After the Second Lebanon War, I wondered why Israel was less secretive about its war operations and strategy than Eric Mangini is about the Jets' operations and strategy; very similar criticism subsequently appeared in the Winograd Report. Upon Yasser Arafat's death, I wrote about his life's work of murdering Jews. Shortly after Prime Minister Sharon's stroke, I assessed his tenure as prime minister. I pointed out the moral flaws in Steven Spielberg's Munich, analyzed Sharon's "disengagement" plan from its first rumblings through the Gaza withdrawal, and lamented political extremism among Orthodox Jews while proposing a rational moderate right-wing approach to the issues surrounding Israel.

My thoughts about the Ted Floyd/Netan Levy matter were to appear in next week's Jewish Press. Readers of this blog likely will not be disappointed that this column won't be appearing.

It is of course the prerogative of The Jewish Press - a private enterprise - to declare me persona non grata. But I confess to being disappointed to receiving an e-mail stating "you're no longer welcome to write for the paper." I never received a penny for the many articles that I've written in The Jewish Press. I didn't even get a subscription to the paper. I always took very seriously the responsibility of publishing something for a wide audience and tried to submit quality writing.

Hopefully my submissions made a small contribution to the discussion and consideration of ideas that are - or should be - important to the mostly observant Jewish readers of The Jewish Press. But I don't think that's how the newspaper sees it. To them, it seems, writing for The Jewish Press is a favor they provided to me, a one-way privilege that I have now squandered.

Finally, in the past I have praised Jason Maoz for his efforts toward trying to improve the quality of The Jewish Press. I stand by that praise.

My correspondence with Maoz began in late 2003, when the once-mighty Protocols blog linked to a post of mine criticizing The Jewish Press. Since then, I've exchanged hundreds of e-mails - at least - with him, about the Mets, the NFL, things that appeared on blogs, in The Jewish Press and other Jewish newspapers, and the wider media. It's the sort of interaction that makes little sense outside of the blogosphere but is not at all unusual within it.

At that time, Maoz asked me to write columns for The Jewish Press. I initially responded with a litany of complaints about the newspaper. Ultimately, I relented, on condition that I not be required to refrain from criticism on my blog when I thought it was warranted, that I not be forced to self censor. He agreed. Of course, yesterday's post was not even critical of the paper, let alone mocking toward it.

I certainly have no regrets about the Jewish Literacy Test. And I can only hope that yesterday's other post - about the arrest of Michael Knight and an investigation into a crack commando unit still wanted by the government - does not result in a ban by NBC.
posted on 4/10/2008

 
The Lipa Pinschutz Jewish Literacy Test

Following the unfortunate situation in Lakewood, Rabbi Lipa Pinschutz noted that "We have to learn to ask questions. When things are incongruous, when something seems suspicious, we must probe for an explanation. If things don’t add up, we must speak up. There is no shame in asking questions repeatedly."

Accordingly, Rabbi Pinschutz has designed the following test. A passing grade shall be required as a condition precedent to entry into a bona fide Orthodox Jewish community. (Note: the minimum grade for passing shall float based upon financial resources.)

1. Which high school did the Beastie Boys attend:

a. Stuyvesant
b. Abraham Lincoln
c. Chaim Berlin
d. MTA

2. Which hockey great demanded, prior to speaking with reporters at his locker, "all Jews must leave."

a. Rod Gilbert
b. Mike Bossy
c. Benjamin Rubin
d. both Gilbert and Bossy

3. Which New York Yankee demanded, prior to speaking with reporters at his locker, "all Jews get out."

a. Tino Martinez
b. Bucky Dent
c. Whitey Ford
d. Gregg Nettles

4. About which newspaper did numerous rabbinical authorities proclaim that it may not be read outside of the bathroom:

a. Yated Nee'man
b. The Algemeiner Journal
c. Mishpacha
d. The Jewish Press

5. Which musician is well known to have refused to perform at a concert until "all dogs and Jews get out."

a. Billy Joel
b. Lipa Schmeltzer
c. Britney Spears
d. Phil Collins

6. The Kennedy family has been cursed for generations by:

a. Rabbi Aharon Kotler
b. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein
c. Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik
d. Any of the above, depending on the minhag of one's family, on his or her father's side

7. Yeshiva study in lieu of military service by Israelis has been praised by none other than:

a. Yasser Arafat
b. George W. Bush
c. Michael Dukakis
d. Moshe Dayan

8. By the time he was three years old, the Vilna Gaon:

a. had finished shas
b. had put all chasidim into cherem
c. completed Calculus II
d. All of the above

9. Mendelssohn was:

a. the founder of the Reform movement
b. primarily responsible for the Enlightenment
c. a great composer and conductor, whose grandfather was a really bad guy
d. All of the above

10. Smoking Cigarettes is:

a. unhealthy and ill-advised
b. a violation of halacha
c. an acceptable vice, if in moderation
d. not mandatory, but, like night seder, strongly suggested for the serious yeshiva bachur

11. After meeting with the Chazon Ish, David Ben Gurion:

a. became a baal teshiva, and joined the Mir in time for the Elul z'man
b. remarked that he had been wrong about religion all along
c. marveled at the greatness of the Chazon Ish and lamented the emptiness of secular life
d. All of the above.

12. The children of which of the following are all Orthodox Jews learning in yeshiva or married to a kollel yungerman:

a. Teddy Kollek
b. Shulamit Aloni
c. Tommy Lapid
d. Alan Dershowitz
posted on 4/09/2008

 
'Imposter' Arrested, Charged With Speeding, ID Theft and Grand Larceny Auto

By Pat Zachberg

LAKEWOOD - The Ocean County District Attorney's Office has announced the arrest of Michael Long, and Long's indictment on charges of identity theft, car theft and excessive speeding, often at more than 300 miles per hour.

According to lead prosecutor Jim Cox, an investigation lasting more than 25 years revealed "a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist."

Long, who disappeared and was presumed dead in 1982, has confessed to assuming the identity of Michael Knight, who Cox described as "a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law."

As it turns out, Long himself may have been a criminal who operated above the law.

"Identities throughout the country are stolen on nearly an hourly basis, but rarely like this," said Cox.

Indeed, Long apparently underwent plastic surgery in 1982, and assumed the appearance of a youthful Wilton Knight, then on his deathbed. It is unclear whether Long and Knight actually knew each other.

Long is not suspected to have been involved in Wilton Knight's death, but has been charged with stealing Knight's Pontiac Trans-Am, often driving it at more than 250 MPH above the speed limit.

After repeatedly insisting that a star witness would fully exonerate him during today's hearing, Long was ordered confined indefinitely at a mental health facility when that "witness" turned out to some sort of video-enhanced GPS system known only as "KITT."

Ike Lewis, a close friend of Wilton Knight, who declined to be quoted under his real name, lamented that "for years we helped Michael. We got him a job, a nice car and a nice face."

Long's plastic surgeon remains at large.

Ironically, Cox is also leading the investigation into the whereabouts of a crack commando unit that in 1972 escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they apparently survive as soldiers of fortune.
posted on 4/09/2008

 
More On Kansas

Sources have informed The Zionist Conspiracy that Lipa Pinschutz, Vos Iz Dus, and Yeshivishe Newsworld are each preparing stunning new reports about "Kansas."

The latest buzz is that "Kansas" has won the NCAA basketball tournament. Initially, it was widely assumed that Memphis had won the college championship, but Vos Iz Dus has now confirmed with a famous sports figure in Memphis who used to live in New Jersey that "Kansas" actually won. In his upcoming article, Lipa Pinschutz is expected to explosively contend that the 'Kansas" victory was so sudden "as if blown in by a tornado." And as Rabbi Pinschutz notes, the mother of B. Hussein Obama was from "Kansas" making it clear that the mysterious redneck has been closely involved in the Memphis-"Kansas" fiasco.

Memphis, of course, is a place in the South that used to have lots of frum Yidden, and still has a few, though perhaps not frum enough to serve as a dayan on a beis din.

Earlier rumors that the New York Yankees are currently playing in "Kansas" proved to be premature. The Yankees are in fact playing in Kansas City, Missouri, which is not in the State of "Kansas." While Missouri is not a well known place, the city of St. Louis, which many have heard of, is actually in Missouri. I indeed, have actually been to St. Louis and can attest that there are Jewish people there, that it is uncomfortably hot and humid during the summer, and that there even is a professional baseball team there that did terrible things in 2006 that should not be spoken of.
posted on 4/08/2008

 
A Clash Between Jewish Culture and Orthodox Piety

LAKEWOOD - April 4 - For many of the thousands of residents of Lakewood, New Jersey, learned discussions about the recent catastrophe to hit their pious community have served as a catharsis to the devastating news that they may have had contact with two people who apparently had formerly been residents of a place called "Kansas."

But many in the town were shocked to learn this morning that late last night, a group of rabbis issued an edict banning lashon hora and rechilus.

While a longstanding ban on lashon hora and rechilus had technically been in effect, most agreed that in practice, that ban only applied to efforts to stop gossiping for one hour during the Jewish month of Av. The new ban - called a takana - apparently is applicable even during waking hours.

The ban has inflamed tensions among charedi Jews over how to address the influences of gossip. Rabbi Lipa Pinschutz, editor of the charedi weekly Ted Lo Nee'man lamented: “In all my years, I can’t remember anything that has so shaken the people. Perhaps we were wrong about daas Torah all along.”

In the last hour, debate over the ban has raged on blogs and on the radio, which provide participants the anonymity to challenge their religious leaders. “The rabbis are dictators,” said one writer on the blog Vos Iz Dus. Others defended their spiritual leaders, saying that they were protecting young people. “Our rabbis must know more than we do, what effect lashon hora and rechilus have on our children,” wrote another.

Some critics say the rabbis were manipulated, and one signer, Rabbi Ike Lewis, who would only give his secular name out of concern for his safety, told The Zionist Conspiracy that the rabbis did not verify the claim that the edict had been approved by Israeli rabbis. “Usually we meet together. This time, with time pressing before shabbos, we did not meet together, and maybe it was not the right thing,” he said.

According to Yeshivishe Newsworld, the ban was orchestrated by Rabbi Pinchas Alou, who, it reports, claims to be "an Orthodox Rabbi that has to serve in a Conservative Congregation with Reform members."

Along with the stunning revelation that "Rabbi" Alou himself has actually lived in "Kansas", Yeshivishe Newsworld has declared that "it is obvious that the ban is not kosher" and that "we and our readers may continue to enjoy spreading lashon hora and rechilus - except between 4:00 A.M. and 5:00 A.M. on erev Tisha B'Av."

Rabbi Alou, who is reportedly recovering from surgery to repair a hernia, could not be reached for comment.
posted on 4/04/2008

 

Rabbi Lipa Pinschutz: We're Not In Lakewood Anymore

The Zionist Conspiracy, with permission of the author and with the haskama of Rabbi Ike Lewis, proudly reprints the following essay by Rabbi Lipa Pinschutz:

It was the talk of town wherever religious Jews congregated. Did you hear about that guy in Woodmere? How could he have pulled it off? There has to be more to the story. A man from Lakewood impersonating a Woodmere lawyer? It just can’t be.

The story was told that a man facing trouble in Lakewood conned his way into the Woodmere modern Orthodox community without anyone catching on to him. The charade lasted a number of years before the man from Lakewood ran out of steam and gave it up.

How bizarre. It really is strange. Fact can be stranger than fiction. But can it be that a Lakewooder blended into the Five Towns without raising anyone’s suspicions?

We like to think that we are so singular and unique that no one can imitate us. We like to think that the way we lead our lives cannot be duplicated by someone outside the fold.

There are just too many details to keep track of, too many cultural nuances to master. Which outsider would even notice the myriad telltale idiosyncrasies characteristic of our community - much less be able to mimic them? A faker would be exposed in seconds.

Or would he?

It would be a sad world if we suddenly were forced to check into every person we came into contact with.

In this case, good people befriended the new neighbors, took their children into school, and did their best to be mekareiv them. People took their money, clothing and food in good faith, and they are to be commended.

Although in the beginning, as the story began to unravel, people believed that the man was a total imposter, spy or worse, it may very well turn out to be true that the family thought they had undergone a genuine conversion. This doesn’t excuse any other deceptions they may have perpetrated, but how does it implicate the rest of us?

What ahavas Yisroel! What inclusiveness and acceptance of strangers! The family was showered with shul membership, shabbos lunch invitations, and every gesture of kindness, without anyone checking their brokerage accounts.

People are wondering whether it can really be that a learned black-hatter showed up in town, schmoozed in shul, complained about his bonus, and everyone fell for him. Can it be that all one has to do is learn to read a sports section - in this case this Daily News - and mimic the crowd?

People say that perhaps we are too superficial and perfunctory in our observance of mitzvos and in the way we interact with our fellows. We are often accused by our detractors of being provincial and self-absorbed, failing to pay attention to those who live among us but are different than us. The gentleman from Lakewood proved them wrong. Here came a family as if blown in by a tornado from a land most people in the Five Towns can’t even find on a map, and they are welcomed with open arms. Nobody asks to see their college degree, nobody tests them on their baseball knowledge, and nobody delves deep enough to find out where they really came from or how much equity they have in their home.

We have to learn to ask questions when we are unsure in matters related to gashmiyus. When things are incongruous, when something seems suspicious, we must probe for an explanation. If things don’t add up, we must speak up. There is no shame in asking questions repeatedly until we feel safe and secure that what we are doing is proper and just.

Can it be that if we weren’t so superficial in our relationships, we could have perceived that there was something very wrong with this family and the facade they presented to the world?

I am not suggesting that the fact that the Lakewood deception succeeded for a number of years reflects shortcomings on our side. This incident could have happened in any community. This man could have been my neighbor or yours. But as the rumors continue to fly, and as people conjecture and speculate about what really happened and who this mysterious man truly is, I am merely thinking aloud that perhaps there is a lesson here for us.
posted on 4/04/2008

 
Return of the Jinx?

"I think Pedro Martinez will stay healthy and have a very good year."

-Elster, March 31, 2008

posted on 4/02/2008

 
Opening Day - A New Season And A New Team

I've been a Mets fan for three decades, both during the too infrequent good times and the many down cycles.

Gregg Jefferies didn't break Pete Rose's record. Generation K -Bill Pulsipher, Jason Isringhausen and Paul Wilson - didn't give the Mets a trio of starters even better than Greg Maddux, John Smoltz and Tom Glavine. The Mets have two World Series championships in 46 seasons while the Yankees won four World Series between 1996 and 2000.

Like in life, things often didn't work out as planned, but amid the disappointments, the Mets represented hope, tradition, youth, and opportunity.

They don't anymore. Not with Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph. Things have changed.

Two seasons ago the Mets ridded themselves of Jeff Keppinger, because, Willie explained, "he just wasn't in the mix." Keppinger was traded for Ruben Gotay. Last week, the Mets ripped themselves of Gotay, because, Willie explained, "we decided as an organization that he wasn't in the mix for this year."

I've had enough of Willie and his mix. I've had enough of hearing for years about Lastings Milledge and then him being traded for mediocre players whom Omar remembers from their mediocre days in Montreal.

And for that matter, I've had enough of Mets fans chanting "Yankees suck" after a victory against the Pirates.

And while I've been having enough of all this, things have changed in The Bronx too. The Yankees don't trade Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps anymore. Maybe Joba, Hughes and Kennedy will all be busts. Maybe they will be the AL version of Generation K. But at least Yankees fans will have a chance to watch and find out.

The Mets and Yankees have changed. Life changes. We change jobs, change friends, change neighborhoods, change shuls.

For me, the time has come to change baseball teams. It'll feel strange at first, maybe a little awkward. But the truth is that for a while I've been admiring the Yankees from a distance and feeling increasingly fed up with the Mets. And if I'm going to make the change, the start of the new season is the time.

Opening night's just hours away. And, by the way, the Red Sox suck. And for those of you who will be watching the Mets tonight - you - and Pedro Martinez - know who's his Daddy.
posted on 4/01/2008